Bachelor Degree - Harvard University - Class of '83

Gregory Scherick graduated with honors from Harvard University with a practically useless degree in English literature.

Prof. William Alfred - Harvard's Best
Fortunately, he was one of the lucky few that was able to secure a private tutorial with one of Harvard's most sought-after professors where he received the real value of his Harvard education. William Alfred was an award-winning playwright whose prestigious play, Hogan's Goat, launched Faye Dunaway's career. Mr. Scherick studied screenwriting one-on-one with this remarkable man for almost four years solid, as well as reading the complete works of Charles Dickens under Prof. Alfred's guidance. To this day, Mr. Scherick still attributes this formidable undertaking as cause for his profound understanding of dramatic character, as well as his blurry vision.

High School Part I - The Dalton School

For the freshman and sophomore years of his high-school education, Mr. Scherick attended New York City's prestigious prep school, The Dalton School. Here he not only witnessed filthy-rich trust fund kids snort cocaine off the desktop in class, but he also cut his promotional teeth by staging unapproved rallies in the lunch room, using the PE teacher's megaphone to whip the noontime crowd into an enthusiastic frenzy.

Dalton is perhaps best known as the school where Woody Allen picks up Muriel Hemingway in the film Manhattan.

High School Part II - Beverly Hills High - Class of '79

Mr. Scherick received his high school diploma from Beverly Hills High School. His senior year, Mr. Scherick was the cartoonist for the school newspaper and to this day still has the distinction of being the only cartoonist ever called into the principal's office on three separate occaisions to be repremanded for misconduct. His biting and brilliantly incisive political cartoons peeled the lid off the fetid underbelly of hypocrasy, intolerance and censorship that characterized the institution.

Life Study - Class of 2041 (or somewhere close to that most likely)

Josheph Campbell - Master of Myth

Though Mr. Scherick is grateful for the superb quality of his education, it's his intense study of the life process and the fundamental tenents of human nature that -- over the last few decades -- has held the most value for him. A scientist at heart, he has sought tirelessly through intense study to master the fundamental laws of myth that not only provide the foundation for every story ever told, but that offer guidance to human beings on their constant path towards enlightenment and an ever-higher expression of goodness. Mr. Scherick believes that you should not only "follow your bliss," but that you should make love to it and bring it flowers.